Hokanews
All spelling mistakes are intentional

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First Edition * Hokanews * Fourth issue - 1999-06-24
"The Truth The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth"
Plus gossips, rumors, lies and pure fiction
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Happy Midsummer!

Sorry for my long delay between these E-mails. Got no good
excuse but being lazy and short of inspiration, plus been very
busy lately. I've been to Nice in France, Denmark and attended
a big Hard Rock Festival in Sweden which used up my last bit
of energy that was left in me since the long dark winter.

Anyway, the summer is finally here and I wanted to take the
opportunity to wish you a long hot summer.

Midsummer is a very old holiday. It was a feast to celebrate
the longest day of the year. Long ago it was a pagan holiday
to make the gods give rich harvests. Today we celebrate it
for one reason - an excuse to drink our self silly.
According to a recent research Swedes drink ten times more
alcohol during midsummer eve than at any other day during
the year.

All I have to say about that is: CHEERS!

* * *

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the
group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you
are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,'
or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice, Johnny's, from the back of the room rang
out, "And there's the teacher; ...she's old and wrinkled"

* * *


Speaking of Midsummer:

A bloke goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders
five pints. The barman gives him an odd look since the bloke's
all by himself, but he serves up the five pints and lines
them up on the bar.
The bloke downs them....One, Two, Three, Four, Five.
He finishes the last one and calls to the barman, "Four pints,
please, mate!"
The barman serves up four pints and lines them on the bar.
The bloke downs them....One, Two, Three, Four. Then he belches
loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three more
pints.
And one after the other, he knocks them back....One, Two, Three.
"Two pintsh, mate!" he calls, and the barman places two pints
in front of him.
Down they go .... One, Two. As the bloke slams the last one
down on the bar, he says, "One pint, mate." So the barman fills
the glass. The bloke sits there, staring at it for a moment,
trying to focus. Then he looks at the barman and says, "Y'know,
it'sh a funny t'ing, but the less I drink, the drunker I get..."

* * *

Until next time,

Have a great midsummer and a wonderful summer,


/Hokan


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