All spelling mistakes are intentional

First Edition * Hokanews * Second issue - 1999-02-04
"The Truth The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth"
Plus gossips, rumors, lies and pure fiction

What have I done to deserve this weather in Stockholm right
now? It's just horrible now with snow, rain and sleet coming
down left, right center from the sky.
So if you're somewhere else - ENJOY whatever weather you have
because it can't be much worse than here - no matter what.

Anyway, on with the show:

This weeks top list has a new top entry:

1) Hans Arnold
Pretty famous Swedish artist who is mainly known for his
horror drawings and paintings. His most famous work here
in Sweden are the ABBA cover for their Greatest Hits
record, unfortunately only released here. Check out:
http://www.common.se/hokan/fun/abba.jpg - IF YOU DARE!?
He is now doing a small exhibition in Stockholm which
I am looking very much forward to attend.

2) Backgammon & Koh Phangan
Combined they're still holding on to number two.
See last issue for links.

3) CD-burner
YES. I have now purchased (finally) a CD-rom burner, which
means I can now make my own CD-records. Not only will it
make life easier when I do DJ:ing, but my good friends
Krister and Morgan will now soon get fresh music to play
in their bar at Koh Samui, Thailand.


* * *


Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.
"Sixty is the worst age to be," announced the sixty year old. "You
always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand
at the toilet and nothing happens!"

"Ah, that's nothing," said the seventy year old "When you're
seventy, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat
bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens!"

"Actually," said the eighty year old "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the sixty year old.
"No ... not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. No problem at all."
"Do you have trouble taking a crap?" asked the seventy year old.
"No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at
With great exasperation, the sixty year old said "Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at six o'clock and take a crap every
morning at six thirty. What's so tough about being eighty ?"

To which the eighty year old replied, "I don't wake up until seven

* * *

NEWS for the US: don't plan too much in advance.

In an eagerness to keep down the cost of dying, up to 250,000
Americans are facing a major problem this year. They planned
ahead, paying decades in advance - as it turned out - for
cemetery plots and gravestones. To save a few dollars, they
had the stones "pre-engraved" with a suitable biblical verse
and the first two digits of their year of death. But they
are still here, and those digits were 19.
"When we had the engraving done in the 1950s, I said to the
man who did the stone, 'What if I don't die in 19 something?',"
Jessie Stibitz of Pennsylvania told the Los Angeles Times this
week. "And he looked at me and said 'You will'." Mrs Stibitz,
82 and her husband Lewis, 84 show little sign of passing on
within the next 11 months, and are among those left wondering
what to do when they outlive their gravestones.

* * *

This weeks Homer Simpsons quote:

"Remember that trying is the first step towards failure"

Until next time,

Have a great one!


Won't you take me   back?